Author: seahken

  • Natalie – The gift of Christmas

    Natalie – The gift of Christmas

    It was 3am on the 26th of December 2021, the exact due date of baby Natalie. Miin woke me up intrusively. “I think my water broke”, those were the words from Miin, I immediately got up, and thought this is the day baby is finally going to show itself to the world. We had been trying to “induce” the baby since the previous week with medium intensity exercises. Miin did squats, lunges, table tennis, and even spent an afternoon playing badminton at 39-week pregnant.

    We tried to keep calm, and thought about all the lessons we’ve learned from the numerous birthing courses we attended. We called the hospital to inform them of our situation, and the midwives were happy for us to wait for natural progression of the labor. So instead of packing up and rushing to the hospital, we started to measure Miin’s contractions. Once that was ready, we tried to sleep whenever possible, knowing we were still in the early stages of labor and hoping for natural progression of the labor. But deep down eager that the pregnancy is finally coming to an end.

    First Check-up

    It was 3pm the same day, 12 hours have passed since Miin’s water broke. Family members were all on edge, confused by the fact that we were still at home, trying to maintain our regular daily routine. She had irregular contractions, and a lot of excitement. We could barely sleep since the early hours. So we called the hospital again, and this time they wanted us to go in for a check-up.

    I remember this trip felt very different to other car rides. It felt we could be going as 2 people, and coming back with 3. We even had a last minute check on the car-seat to make sure it was safe for use.

    When we arrived at the birthing suite, the midwife checked Miin and baby, and everything seemed fine and well. Baby was healthy, Miin was in good shape, there wasn’t any urgency at all. Then we went home, and continued our journey to help progress the labor.

    Another sleepless night

    It was the 27th now. We barely slept once again. Miin had contractions with increasing intensity throughout the night. We had a scheduled appointment with FMAC – Fetal monitoring antenatal clinic to check on our progress and the health of mummy and baby. Everything seemed to be at the exact same point as the day before, nothing’s changed, our 2nd trip to the hospital seemed to be in vain.

    To take our mind off things, we drove to Mount Dandenong. Had a very slow walk on the trails. Miin had contractions with higher frequency and intensity at this point. It was starting to be a challenge to keep doing our life normally.

    At breaking point, or 3rd time lucky?

    It was 5am on the 28th now, around than 50 hours since Miin’s water broke. Once again Miin woke me up, this time noticeably more shaken compared to the last time. Miin noticed the change in colour of the fluid that was leaking for the water breakage. She also felt baby’s movement has reduced significantly in the past hour. We immediately called the hospital to explain the situation, and was told to make our way to the hospital.

    We got up, had a quick cleanup, and was on our way to the hospital. We were admitted to birth suite 3, and check-up began. To our relief, baby still had a healthy heartbeat, hovering between 13o to 160 beats per minute. Miin’s vitals were doing well too. Midwife Laura even checked Miin’s vaginal fluid, and it was still looking healthy. However, the labor hadn’t progressed at all! At this point, I thought we were at breaking point mentally, and it was easy to misread the situation, and we told the midwife exactly that. I guess the message got through to her, and the birthing team finally offered us the option to induce the labor then and there, instead of the scheduled day after. We were mentally and physically exhausted from the lack of sleep, so we took the offer to start the induction process.

    Induction

    At around 11.30am, the drip finally started. Sometimes we just need a bit of medical intervention to kick start the nature’s process.

    Contractions gradually became more intense, and frequency also increased. By 2.30pm, Miin seemed to be in extreme pain. She was given the first line of pain relief, which was gas. I was eager to know the progress, and asked Heidi, the midwife that would be taking care of us that afternoon. She estimated that labor was slow, and she would expect a dilation of the cervix of 5cm at around 6pm. I couldn’t believe we were still that far-off, I didn’t even told Miin as she was in the toilet when I asked for the progress. All I could do was to try to help Miin to progress further.

    By around 3.30pm, Miin’s pain seemed excruciating, and she could no longer stand or sit; she could only lie down on the bed in various positions. She also started to ask for further pain-relief, morphine, epidural, she wanted anything that would help her.

    Then we asked Heidi to check internally the dilation of Miin’s cervix. After ordering the morphine, she checked, and to our surprise, Miin’s cervix had dilated to about 7cm, and it was nearing the 10cm needed to start pushing the baby.

    At this point, I was starting to take a proactive role in this labor, instead of just sitting around, playing different meditation and music audio, I told hold of Miin’s gas dispenser tube. And timed Miin’s breathing, once we was ready to inhale some air, I shoved the gas tube into her mouth, so she’s only breathing in the Nitrous Oxide. There was also time I had to help her pace her breathing, as Miin was only breathing in short bursts due to the pain.

    Around this time, we heard deafening screams from across the hall, presumably from another woman giving birth. The screams are nothing short of one from a possessed character in a horror film. I remembered that moment, but could not mention it, as Miin were going through an ordeal of her own.

    By the time the morphine shots arrived, this was around 4.30pm. Heidi once again manually checked the dilation diameter. And this time it was 9cm. At this point, morphine can no longer be used, as it might affect the baby’s breathing.

    The Push

    not the actual red button

    Miin started to have urge to push, it’s difficult for my to describe this feeling, but I thought urine and shit were passed at some point. Another midwife started to come into the room to help Miin with pushing. Miin was lying on her back, and she pushed 3 times with every contraction. 2 really strong ones, and 1 weaker one at the end. That happened for about 1 hour, and at the very end, when baby’s head had already surfaced, Miin continued her push. Miin was even given a chance to touch baby’s head during this time.

    Then baby’s heart rate started to plummet, from a stable 140 bpm, to around 90 bpm. This was when one of the nurse hit the big red emergency button on the birthing suite wall. Between 4 and 6 midwives urgently rushed into the room, some pushing Miin’s stomach, some tried pulling the baby’s head, one started to make a cut on Miin’s vagina. It was an intense moment.

    “There is none like You”

    Then it happened. With the help of the midwives, Miin’s last draw to push, and baby’s determination to live, Natalie Enning Seah was birthed to the world at 5.56pm on 28th December 2021.

    She immediately let out a siren-like sounding cry, alive and lively. At that moment, we were overwhelmed and relieved. At this moment, “There is none like You” was playing on my phone, a fitting song indeed. I for one burst into tears for Miin’s pain is finally over, as it was killing me inside to witness her suffering.

    Hello World.

    That’s the raw recollection of our birthing story, hope this will be a welcome for us to parenthood, and for Natalie, Hello World.

    PS. Big thanks for all the midwives ( Heidi, Laura, and more) at Angliss Hospital for helping us through the birthing process, our family and friends for the prayers and blessings, and God for unfailing love.

  • Love You Anymore

    Love You Anymore

    Love You Anymore
    Michael Bublé

    Just because I wander ’round the places we would go
    Hoping that I’d run into you one last time
    Just because I never took your picture off my phone
    Doesn’t mean that you’re still on my mind

    Just because I accidentally slipped and said your name
    Well, I heard your song, it makes me insecure
    Just because I know I’ll never ever feel the same
    Doesn’t mean I love you anymore

    Am I lying to myself again
    When I say you’re not the best I’ve ever had?
    Am I lying to myself again
    When I say that I’m not missing you so bad?

    Just because I’m on my knees and swearing I would change
    And I’d do anything to hear you say “I’m yours”
    Just because I know I’ll never ever feel the same
    Doesn’t mean I love you anymore (love, love)
    Uh uh
    Uh uh

    Am I lying to myself again
    When I say you’re not the best I’ve ever had?
    Am I lying to myself again
    When I say that I’m not missing you so bad?

    Just because I’m on my knees and swearing I would change
    And do anything to hear you say “I’m yours”
    Just because I know I’ll never ever feel the same
    Doesn’t mean I love you anymore, more
    Doesn’t mean I love you anymore (anymore, anymore)
    Doesn’t mean I love you anymore

  • Journey’s End

    Journey’s End

    What is Black Widow gonna do without her hulk?

    After about 2 long years of being neglected, we have a new post! Unfortunately this will also be the last post as Ken & Miin’s journey together came to an end, not particularly abrupt, but sudden.

    That night it happened

    On a fateful night on the 4th December of 2018, after endless struggling and fights, Miin appeared at my garage as I was pulling into the driveway. My first reaction was a good one; thinking she came to reconcile after yet another banter.

    Turns out I was wrong, she came with the car full of my belongings and objects of sentimental value.

    “Hey, what are you doing here?” I said, not realising the end was near. I was hoping we could end our fight once again to regain harmony.

    Then I vaguely remember her pointing towards her car, saying she packed my stuffs. At this moment I knew she have already decided to end the 5 years+ relationship.

    Gradual decay? Or complete meltdown?

    The past year has been especially tough for the relationship. Often a small undesired action triggers full-on fights. When did the our relationship become so volatile? When did we stop accepting each other’s flaws? When did we stop being the number 1 person on each other’s team? When did we stop admiring each other’s everything?

    The number of times we were on the verge on giving up the relationship is numerous. Each time having at least one person not willing to give up our cherished relationship. Things would get better for a few weeks (sometimes days) before the relationship inevitably implodes on itself. Many times hurting both of us deeply.

    Memories

    I still remember the time when things are going as if we are mend for each other. How our lives values are aligned, our goals in life are similar, and we’re going to work very near each other next year. Our families are also supportive of whatever we were doing. I’ll cherish:

    • The time we made a song
    • The time we crossed the Victoria-South Australia border in a canoe
    • The time when each of us were not doing particularly well in our lives, we grew closer in the face of crisis
    • The time we were immobilised by heavy rain and had noodles in the shelter of a tent
    • The time we were exploring an empty park
    • The time Miin saved me from a friendly dog
    • The time we thought were our last breath on a ski lift during a blizzard
    • The time we watched the sunset together on Mt Dandenong
    • The time we got food poisoning from our favourite restaurant
    • The time Miin cut my hair
    • The time we went to Cherry farm on a 40 degrees day
    • The time we wore ponchos for 4 seasons
    • The time we explored Mt Buller snowboarding
    • The time we went to Ikea to get inspiration for our future home
    • The time we thought nothing could stand in our way
    • The time we found each other when we were both lonely in a new city
    • The time we believed love is real

    Moving on

    In the end, these are all memories. Having great memories doesn’t mean we are compatible with each other. Maybe we needed each other at that point of our lives. Maybe we were two lonely souls in a new environment. Maybe we were each other’s stepping stone to something greater.

    I just hope we’ll both find better no, more suitable partners. I hope our ability to love will not be crippled by this relationship. And I hope we’ll be able to feel joy of love again. Not sure when we’ll cross path again, we do live in a relatively small city. Until then,

    Goodbye, bb – Ken

  • Mindset Improvement: Ken

    Mindset Improvement: Ken

    In the beginning of the year, I have set myself some goals and resolutions to work on, mainly to improve myself. Following the progress, here are some updates and also a wallpaper for my PC.

    This motivation poster has been circulated on social media for many years now.  While procrastinating today (guilty!), I once again stumbled upon the successful unsuccessful poster and would like to share a post and highlight some of the points I need to personally work on.

     

    Exude Joy vs Exude Anger

    I definitely wants to be the person that ooze joy and positive energy instead of making other people feel negative most of the time. I’m probably not guilty of too much negativity, but can definitely work on being MORE positive, MORE joy, MORE motivational energy. I want people around me to feel “nothing is impossible” and that requires me to be infinitely positive and energetic.

     

    Read Everyday vs Watch TV (or YouTube)Everyday

    So guilty! More time wasted on entertainment equals to less time working on productive activities. However I don’t intent to completely shut down my YouTubing time as it is definitely one of my stress releasing modes. The goal of this will be LESS time watching video and MORE time reading.

     

    Compliment vs Criticize

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    I don’t normally do a lot of criticizing, however complimenting others hasn’t been as natural as it should.

    The thing about criticizing is it doesn’t really register well with the person being criticized. Recently I have been experimenting with an alternative, instead of criticizing, give a small compliment, followed by a possible tips for improvement. Human beings are wired to take criticism more easily when it is not directed at them.

     

    Keep a Journal

    km.beewebby.com.au is the first step for me to keep a journal. As you can already tell, it is not being as often as it should. Our trip to Lakes Entrance that deserves a post on its own hasn’t been drafted at all. Will definitely need more discipline for writing.

     

    That is it for today. Will be posting more motivation poster that I find interesting on the blog. Stay tuned!

  • New Year’s Resolutions: Ken

    New Year’s Resolutions: Ken

    It is that time of the year again, where new resolutions are made and broken within weeks if not days. Following tradition, I’m going to lay down a few points really close to heart about the things I want to improve over the next year. As one wise slug says “Flaws reveal potential, always improving, good.”

    Flaws reveal potential, always improving, good. – Abathur

    2015 has been a year of exploration for me. From learning new programming languages, to new opportunities back in Malaysia. Only one thing has been revealed clearly to me, there’s so much more development potential available! So the theme should be about improving, always improving. The points should be specific and achievable, making this absolutely plausible goals for the year.

    1. Reading AT LEAST one book each month.

    It is common knowledge how reading is one of the most important skills if you are looking to succeed at anything in life. By reading a book, specific knowledge and experience accumulated over years can be transferred to you in a matter of hours. Learning to read (with discipline) will definitely help you push forward no matter what field you are working on. Due to me spending significant time driving on the road, I’ve opt for listening to Audio books. I’ve recently signed up on Audible and my chosen January book will be The $100 Startup: Reinvent the Way you Make a Living, Do What You Love, and Create a New Future. I’m interested in reading this partly because I’ve already taken the steps toward working on my own micro-businesses, and planning to enjoy the modest living and freedom that I’ve earn (and hopefully the money to justify what I’m doing soon). I’ll be updating frequently on the things I’m reading to give you an insight and my take to the book.

    2. Writing AT LEAST one post per week.

    Once again notice the capped “at least” here as I’m going to make writing one of my top priorities for 2016, be it blog posts for Oz Soylent, Beewebby, or for this blog site. Training to be a better content marketer, writing has become one of the most important skills for me. Hopefully by the end of 2016 (and at least 52 posts), I’ll be a better writer with quality contents for readers to enjoy! I’ll be checking by the end of the year.

    IMG_20160102_160057
    Toys bought for this fitness goal

    3. Cutting 5kg from my current weight. Target – 67kg

    As many of my friends have known, I’ve gained around 5-8 kg over the past year,putting me in the “overweight” category when calculating BMI. It may seem that I’m at a more acceptable weight now, however being not able to wear my old pants is definitely not acceptable. I need to resist from buying “fat pants”, really not going to accept my growing belly. So my target is a modest 5 kg from now, putting me comfortably in the high “normal” range in BMI. My weight loss action plan include more exercise and healthier diet.

    Our little cozy home for 2 nights

    4. Camping 2 times a year

    After going camping recently with the newly acquired camping equipment, Miin and I definitely enjoyed our times in the wild, there’s also a short post on our trip to Bright. It is superbly fun to go camping, however the preparation is usually slightly off-putting with too many things to bring especially with my not-so-practical car. We’ll be posting updates for all our camping trips on this blog.

     

    Official_unity_logo

    5. Making a Game

    What? A game? Unbeknownst to most people, I make it a point to take programming courses from Treehouse, and recently I stumbled upon the Game Development courses offered. Physics has always been my favourite of the Sciences in school, so the Game Development course deeply interests me when Physics is heavily used in building in-game worlds. Look forward to what I’m going to build in 2016.

     

    Perseverance or Resolution flop?

    As I’m ending this article, the new year high is still motivating me to follow through to the end of the year. Hopefully I’ll work tirelessly, and by the end of 2016, I’ll be a better person, better developed, closely to the ideal me. Stay tune for updates!

  • Boxing Day 2015

    Boxing Day 2015

    Boxing Day – the only holiday when people wake up earlier than working days and willingly commute to in traffic to the city. It happens one day after Christmas day every year. Urban people go out of the way to enjoy the best of modern day consumerism: To amplify the meaning of shopaholic, shopaholic: Buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have.

    Shopaholic: Buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have.

    With the intention of grabbing a bargain, we started our journey with my sister booking an affordable parking space near Emporium, Melbourne. Paying only $4 parking fee for the entire Saturday, we happily parked the car at a hidden parking spot off Queen St.

    IMG_20151226_140001

    The first thing we did after reaching Emporium was getting lunch. People were already queuing to enter Branded Stores as we sidewinding through the crowd to get to the food court. We were really hoping to have Sushi Hon, one of our favourite sushi train restaurant. However our hunger was greater than the willingness to queue for great sushi, so we settled with Sushi Sushi instead.

    Everywhere we went, people were queuing up to get into stores. The thought of modern consumerism keeps going through my mind. Thinking how our modern culture dictates how we work our lives for money to trade for physical goods. Every business in Emporium and Melbourne Central were packed with shoppers hoping to score a real bargain on Boxing Day. Retailers promote “unbeatable” deals on their windows, enticing onlookers and serious shoppers alike to enter their stores. By the time we were there, most shoppers were already carrying at least one of two full shopping bags with something in common: A big smile, the joy of spending money, or scoring a bargain.

    Miin and I did not manage to grab anything except a handy battery pack from Dick Smith. We are not vivid shoppers anyway. The main reason we went to join the Boxing Day shopping crowd is for us to experience the shopping atmosphere. Plus we also promised to meet some friends at the city (this is more of Miin’s point though).

    We then made our way to Federation Square, were looking forward to see the Lego Christmas Tree. Made from millions of Lego bricks, it looks marvelously amazing.

    IMG_20151226_161054

  • Going back to Melbourne in 4 Days!

    Going back to Melbourne in 4 Days!

    How exciting! How time flies when this notification appeared on Google Now today, reminding me I’m going back to Melbourne in 4 days!

    It’s been almost a month and a half since I get to see my baby girl back there. The build up of anticipation this past week has been intense, just the thought of meeting my baby in a long time is enough to induce euphoria!

    Looking forward for the good times once more.

    Stay tuned!

  • Fighting for silly reasons

    Fighting for silly reasons

    [vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]What a day. Went to the dentist today and got scaled real hard. With that cleaning tool drilling into my teeth, I start to realize how the body can hurt with the smallest tools. Today our relationship suffered too, with volatile emotions from both Miin and me, our quarrel got out of hand swiftly. I dislike us fighting for little reasons like that, to be honest, I loathe fighting at all! We are supposed to be a team! Live with each other with love, and forgiveness. I hope we don’t continue with this silliness and focus on the good times.
    May the rainbow takes over the rain quickly!

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